http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG9LgibCiow&feature=channel_video_title
This is something I'd kind of been thinking about for myself. If I compare myself when I started at my school to how I am now, I'm fairly certain that these 4 years have not made me more intelligent. They have, however, helped me become a better adjusted and well rounded person. I read things I wrote then and think that they're so much more true than the things I write now. Yeah, my grammar is better, and yeah I know more math rules, and I actually know some Latin, but I've lost my insight. I can no longer feel confident in my grasp of things and ideas which had at that earlier time been my forte, mostly weightily, fun. I used to be able to have fun both by myself and groups of people, or if I was by myself and not having fun, I was content with that. I had an understanding that this was an acceptable and often necessary situation. Now, when I'm by myself, I'm unbearably bored, and when it goes on long enough, I often feel depressed.
I think the biggest thing is that I've lost a sense of perspective I used to have. I wouldn't call this quite "depression" but I'm feeling a more poignant break from the overall fitness of the World and the fitness of myself. As long as the World was by and large okay, it was fine if I was sad. I think I've lost that.
Or maybe I've just lost the belief that World is by-and-large alright.
I know this isn't a poem, though I might turn it into one, but for now, it's just sort of some thinking that's been weighing on my mind for quite some time now. So I decided to stop letting it weigh, and let it be known. Thank you to those who read this, it actually means a lot to me.
When it’s you alone against the world
ReplyDeleteopen your horizons, your view unfurled.
If this in turn makes you so lonely
then, then lift your eyes and remember it’s only
For the moment. But your big brother is here for you, even if it’s only a coment.
Sometimes we are blinded by too much truth, too much horrible truth.
ReplyDeleteIt wounds us; Scars us.
What helps me is to TAKE ACTION. Struggle to TAKE ACTION.
Whether lobbying, petitioning, overcoming social conditioning... I don't know where you're at, but one thing I DO KNOW from many years of life...
*** Struggling to change and grow makes me happy ***
It's not easy, it only get's harder, but I have no choice. I grow or stagnate and become nothing of use, forever unhappy until I fade and die. F that!
The unexamined life... the rest of that statement isn't worth mentioning. You know it, and KNOW this, it's OVERRATED.
The OVER-examined life, isn't living at all.
LIVE, LOVE, STRUGGLE to do no harm, and meet the needs of others where you can, safely (and if possibly while fostering growth and independence.) Be a positive force for change in our society. You'll fail, we all do, but you'll learn so much from failing, and when you get back up and TRY again, you'll do better, never perfect, just better. Better is more than good, better is great.
Don't worry about 'who you are', 'who you should be'... just DO, and find out who you really are in doing.