http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG9LgibCiow&feature=channel_video_title
This is something I'd kind of been thinking about for myself. If I compare myself when I started at my school to how I am now, I'm fairly certain that these 4 years have not made me more intelligent. They have, however, helped me become a better adjusted and well rounded person. I read things I wrote then and think that they're so much more true than the things I write now. Yeah, my grammar is better, and yeah I know more math rules, and I actually know some Latin, but I've lost my insight. I can no longer feel confident in my grasp of things and ideas which had at that earlier time been my forte, mostly weightily, fun. I used to be able to have fun both by myself and groups of people, or if I was by myself and not having fun, I was content with that. I had an understanding that this was an acceptable and often necessary situation. Now, when I'm by myself, I'm unbearably bored, and when it goes on long enough, I often feel depressed.
I think the biggest thing is that I've lost a sense of perspective I used to have. I wouldn't call this quite "depression" but I'm feeling a more poignant break from the overall fitness of the World and the fitness of myself. As long as the World was by and large okay, it was fine if I was sad. I think I've lost that.
Or maybe I've just lost the belief that World is by-and-large alright.
I know this isn't a poem, though I might turn it into one, but for now, it's just sort of some thinking that's been weighing on my mind for quite some time now. So I decided to stop letting it weigh, and let it be known. Thank you to those who read this, it actually means a lot to me.
